


You Know What They Say About Assuming...

by Catolyn



Series: Leading With My Heart [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Darcy Lewis, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-02-01
Packaged: 2017-11-27 15:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/663802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catolyn/pseuds/Catolyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy and Steve's newly minted relationship has come to the attention of Director Fury. </p><p>Who makes assumptions. </p><p>And we all know what they say about assuming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Darcy

**Author's Note:**

> Mistakes are all my own.
> 
> Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I'm just borrowing them for my own nefarious purposes.
> 
> Rating for language.

One fantastic dinner (and insanely hot make out session), three lunches (only two insanely hot make out sessions), and an even dozen meetups for coffee (complete with hand holding and kissing) and Darcy was pretty confident in her ability to say that Steve Rogers was her boyfriend. He’d sent her flowers to Jane’s lab that morning complete with a little cartoon character of her in the card. Her cartoon self was dressed as a lion tamer, complete with whip and chair, trying to subdue cartoon scientists into stepping away from something labeled “Explosive”. The card was now taped up beside her monitor at her workstation.

Darcy’s friend from college, Ian Silverman, had emailed her asking if she could meet up for lunch while he was in town for business. She’d gladly said yes and told Jane she was heading out to meet a college friend for a long lunch, but that she’d be back by three to finish the data entry and catch up on the filing. Jane nodded and waved her off, clearly engrossed in some complicated piece of math.

So she’d met Ian for lunch, had a few good laughs, admired the pictures of him and his new boyfriend. She carefully talked about ‘the new guy she was seeing’, desperately trying to not out the fact her boyfriend was sometimes a superhero. She was walking back to the tower when one of the ubiquitous black SHIELD vans pulled up beside her. Two agents jumped out, grabbed her by her upper arms, and before she had time to grab her taser or scream had shoved her in the back seat of the van.

“What the _FUCKING FUCK?_ ” she screamed, and tried to lash out. She looked around, panicking. In the backseat with her were the two agents who’d grabbed her, so similar to each other something in her brain immediately dubbed them ‘Thing One’ and ‘Thing Two’; and a third man, dressed all in black and wearing an eyepatch. 

Eyepatch spoke, “Miss Lewis, please calm yourself. I promise you will come to no harm.”

“Excuse me if I have trouble believing that when you grab me off the fucking street when I’m walking back to work you jack booted thug.” she retorted quickly.

“I can appreciate your perspective Miss Lewis, but due to... certain limitations that Mister Stark has placed on my access to the Avengers Tower I was not able to speak with you at your place of employment; which is also your place of residence.” 

Darcy glared at him mulishly. 

He continued on, entirely unintimidated by the girl in front of him. “I only need to speak privately with with you on a small matter of importance and then I promise my agents will return you, unmolested, to your destination.”

The van stopped momentarily and the driver as well as Thing One and Thing Two got out. Darcy tried to follow after Thing One and Thing Two only to be rudely pushed back in the van and the door slammed in her face. “Assholes.” she muttered. She turned her attention back to the menacing man with the eyepatch, her thoughts racing. “You’re Director Fury aren’t you?”

He raised an eyebrow, somehow conveying in the small motion that she shouldn’t have known that and demanding to know how she’d gotten her information.

“It’s pretty obvious really. Tony calls you ‘Captain Eyepatch’ all the time, either that or ‘That fucking pirate’. I can’t imagine there are a lot of people in SHIELD with eyepatches who have the authority to snatch research assistants off the street.” she reasoned.

“Tony talks too much with civilians around still I see.”

“I have a security clearance, and it’s not like I don’t know that you exist. Now why in the hell are you grabbing me off the street for no damn good reason?”

Fury nodded, acknowledging that the time for manners was entirely past. “Because Miss Lewis, it has recently come to my attention that you are pursuing a romantic relationship with Captain America.”

Darcy said the first thing that came to her mind. “No. I’m not.”

Director Fury picked up an envelope on the set beside him and took out a seven or eight photographs. The first was from two days earlier when she and Steve had gone out for coffee one morning after the brain trust had blown something up in one of the labs setting off all the smoke and air quality alarms on the research and development levels. They were walking hand in hand and something about the way they were looking at each other was intimate. Darcy shivered a bit to think that someone had been following them to take the picture and neither she or Steve had noticed. “Miss Lewis, it has been some years since I last was on the dating scene. But that looks like you holding hands with Captain America, and from the looks of that picture you are quite cozy.” There were other pictures, all taken within the last week. They were laughing in some of them and in one they were kissing. All of them looked like a couple in love.

Shaking her head to clear the sense of impending dread she snarked back. “See that doesn’t look like Captain America to me. That looks like my boyfriend, Steve Rogers.”

“And Steve Rogers IS Captain America, if I’m not mistaken.”

She met the directors gaze evenly, her own eyes beginning to blaze with anger. “I’m not dating Captain America. I am dating Steve Rogers. So Director Fury, with absolutely no respect, fuck off!”

“Excuse me?!” the fierce director of SHIELD looked completely gobsmacked that this diminutive brunette was standing up to him when senior agents were afraid to so much as sneeze in the same room.

“He is Captain America when he puts on that suit and goes out to save the world from monsters, and aliens, and mad scientists who can’t leave well the fuck enough alone with bug DNA. But underneath the suit and all the rest of the time he is Steve Rogers, one of the most purely decent human beings I will ever have the honor of knowing. But he is not Captain fucking America when he’s trying to figure out how to work the coffee maker. And he’s not Captain America when everyone gets together to eat pizza and play video games. And he sure as _FUCK_ isn’t Captain America when I kiss him.” Darcy was so angry she thought she was going to be sick. She could feel her entire body shudder and shake.

“Miss Lewis-” began Fury.

She slashed her hand through the air, cutting him off. “No! Don’t you dare fucking ‘Miss Lewis’ me you creepy one eyed son of a bitch. You do not get to sit there and try to tell me who I should or shouldn’t fall in love with based on their status as a national icon.” she shoved herself back in her seat, as far from the director as possible. She shivered again, suddenly thinking of all the ways this was going to go horribly for her. Top on the list was the fact that this man could make her disappear. Almost as bad was he could revoke her security clearances that allowed her to work and live in the tower. She wrapped her arms around her waist to stop her hands from shaking.

“I believe I may have been mistaken about you.” began Fury.

“No shit Sherlock.” she sniped back

He gave her a quelling look that had made senior agents cry. “Miss Lewis, you need to appreciate my position. People less... scrupulous would be entirely willing to take advantage of Steve for their own ends. One of my jobs is to make sure that doesn’t happen. Our dossier on you, while comprehensive in the more broad sense, is short on personal details. For instance we know you were born Darcy Joy Lewis on May twenty-second, nineteen eighty-eight to Abigail Marie Lewis and Joseph David Lewis. We know you were a better than fair student through high school. That you graduated from high school in Northern California with a three point nine GPA and applied to colleges all at least a thousand miles from home despite having a reportedly good relationship with both your parents. We know that you were orphaned your first year of college when you were eighteen. That you changed your major several times before graduating with a degree in political science. And we also know about your drugs bust when you were sixteen.” droned the director, as though he was reciting mathematical equations and not the details of her life. “But, we have little to no data about your character as a _person_.” he concluded

“It wasn’t even an eighth of an ounce of weed. It was total bullshit. And besides, I was a juvenile. Those records were sealed.” she retorted with a fierce glare.

“Anything that has been sealed can be unsealed Miss Lewis, take care to remember that.”

“Great so you know my whole life story. So what? What does ANY of this have to do with my dating Steve.”

“Now that I’ve spoken with you. Absolutely nothing.”

“Excuse me?! You kidnap me off the street, try to imply that I have some ulterior motive to being involved with Steve. And then you have the unmitigated GALL to tell me it’s ‘nothing’?! You are so full of _shit_ I don’t even know where to begin!” Darcy began venting, building up a good head of steam. “First off how dare you?”

“How dare I _what_ Miss Lewis?” the directors voice was coldly angry.

“How dare you assume that Steve isn’t smart enough to _tell_ if someone is interested in him for himself or for being a fucking superhero. I swear to god half the time people treat him as though he has brain damage. He may not be a science genius like Tony, or Bruce, or Jane, but he’s not dumb. Lacking the context for getting a joke because you were in an ice cube for seventy years doesn’t make you dumb, it just makes you confused. And another thing! How can you assume that in a tower full of geniuses, super spy-assassins, and a demi-god that someone trying to get a leg over on Steve would ever get away with it? How exactly would I even begin to do that? Tony, Clint, and Natasha are probably the three most suspicious people on the face of the goddamn planet. Do you _really_ think I would have gotten Steve’s number if they didn’t want me to have it?” Her tone of voice, while clearly enraged, was cooly clipped and her diatribe ended with a small snarl.

Fury leaned back his seat, his gaze coldly assessing. “You are not what I expected when I read your file Miss Lewis. Are you always this fervent in your defense of people you love?”

Without thinking she replied. “Absolutely.” A half-second later she realized she’d admitted to Fury; that she _loved_ Steve. The realization was sudden enough to cut off the rest of what she’d been about to say.

The director nodded, satisfied. “In that case I think I have nothing to be concerned with. I do have to say I’m impressed. Most young women in your position would have been too afraid to say anything out of turn. Never mind telling me to fuck off to my face. I think the last person to do that was Agent Coulson.” he chuckled at her startled expression,.

“I’m like the Spanish Inquisition; nobody expects me. I love music and pop-culture so people think I’m lazy and ditzy. And then when they least expect it BAM!” she punctuated her words by punching her fist into her other palm

“Indeed. I don’t suppose you would be willing to consider a position with SHIELD? You clearly have steady nerves, you could make a very good field or covert agent.” asked Fury, speculatively.

Darcy shook her head quickly back and forth, “Me? An agent? Oh hell-to-the-mother-fucking-NO. I want to get a Masters degree in something and go change the world. I don’t want to spend all my time getting my ass kicked and shooting things. I may be good in a crisis, but I don’t want to live my life like one.” 

The expression on Fury’s face was almost comical in its surprise. “I see. Miss Lewis then there are other issues, related to your involvement with Steve Rogers I should talk to you about.” 

She began to bristle and he cut her off. “Steve Rogers is known to be Captain America. He generally keeps a low profile and people leave him alone. A couple of months after the Chitauri invasion the press mostly stopped taking pictures of him because he wasn’t _doing_ anything particularly interesting. Eventually the press is going to notice you going places with him, and when that happens there is going to be a shit storm the likes of which I don’t think you’ve ever seen. Your face, your name, and your reputation are going to get dragged through the mud of every major and minor news outlet. People who might have _maybe_ known you in middle school are going to start giving interviews to gossip rags. And there is nothing SHIELD can do to stop this. We’re a military organization, not a PR campaign.”

Darcy sighed, “I know that Director. And really it’s not like I have to worry about my parents being scandalized or having trouble going to church because the National Enquirer says their baby girl is banging Captain America. I have one grandmother and she already doesn’t think very highly of me. I doubt a few gossip rags are going to hurt much. I figure I’ll cross that bridge when I get there and if I’m asked for a comment or a question I’ll just stick to the ‘No comment’ line or ‘My private life is just that, private.’ and walk away.” she shrugged with one shoulder, trying to dismiss the issue.

Fury nodded, apparently pleased by her answer. “There’s one more thing and it also has to do with Steve being who he is. Your relationship will make you a target for abduction and possibly worse. Any villain of the week who has a gripe against him specifically or against the team more generally will view you as an expendable asset of manipulation. I understand you may not want a job with SHIELD, but effective today I am recommending you receive basic field agent training from Agents Romanoff and Barton. You will receive lessons in advanced self defense, firearms, situational awareness, evasion, and escape.” his tone of voice was steely, brooking no argument, but underlying there was a sense of sorrow. 

She hugged her arms around her waist, suddenly chilled. “Why me? I mean aren’t Pepper and Jane in just as much danger?”

“Miss Potts is the CEO of a multi-national billion dollar company. She travels with personal security at the insistence of Tony Stark. We considered providing training to Doctor Foster, but after several weeks of observation came to the conclusion that she rarely leaves the tower without at least one member of the Avengers team. Also Agent Romanoff reported that your boss is unnaturally clumsy and firearms instruction would likely lead to someone's death. Doctor Foster has been issued a panic button to use should the need arise. You on the other hand go out often on your own, which will make you a much more tempting target based on ease alone.”

“I guess that makes sense. Will Natasha and Clint teach me at the tower?”

“Ideally, yes. In the event that they are sent on a mission they will have an alternate trainer sent for the duration from SHIELD headquarters. I am going to instruct them to bring you up to speed as quickly as possible. I will also have Agent Barton issue you a panic button.”

Darcy simply nodded, not sure what to say to the news that she was going to have to learn how to fire a gun.

“Miss Lewis, I’m not wrong very often, but please allow me to apologize to you. I was wrong about you and I think I can see what Steve sees in you. He’s a very fortunate man to have you at his side.” the side of Fury’s mouth twitched up, “And if you ever change your mind about working for SHIELD please let me know. I think you would be just the thing to scare the crap out of new recruits once you made full agent.”

“Thank you Director, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” she replied, drily.

Fury sat forward and knocked on the window three times before sitting back in his seat. The doors to the van opened and the driver as well as Thing One and Thing Two got back in.

Darcy rode in silence the rest of the way back to the tower. The van stopped and Thing Two opened the door and got out. Darcy scrambled after. “Miss Lewis?” came the directors voice.

“Yes?” she asked, warily.

“Good luck.” 

Thing Two jumped back in the van and slammed the door, leaving Darcy standing on the sidewalk trying to understand what exactly the director had been wishing her luck for. Sighing she walked back into the tower.

Several hours later she was sitting in Jane’s lab, finishing her work for the day when Natasha entered the lab. “Tomorrow morning eight AM in the gym. Wear something you don’t mind getting dirty.”

Before Darcy could formulate a reply the redhead turned on heel and walked back out. 

A few minutes later Clint sauntered in. “What’s up short stacked?”

“Oh you know the usual, told your boss to go fuck himself and now I’m pretty sure I should plan my funeral because I’m supposed to be getting trained on how not to get kidnapped by you and your partner.”

“You told Fury _what_?!” gaped the archer.

“I told him to go fuck himself when he tried to suggest I was dating Steve to get a leg over on a national icon.” she replied, matter of factly.

Clint began laughing, pounding his fist on his thigh. “Oh my god, I would have paid to see the look on his face.”

“He did look like he’d just swallowed a live frog when I said that. Either that or was trying to kill me with the power of his mind.” 

Clint whooped even louder. “Priceless! Can we film it the next time you do that?”

Darcy shuddered, “I hope there isn’t a next time. Because I’m pretty sure I only got away with that because he wasn’t expecting me to stand up for myself. I think the next time I try that I’m going to be ‘vanished’ for reasons of national security. Is there something you need?”

Still chortling Clint replied, “Yeah, you have firearms training with me tomorrow evening at six PM. But I wanted to ask if you’ve ever held a gun before so I know where we should start.”

“Oh, um. I fired a twenty-two rifle a couple of times at summer camp when I was ten. But that’s it.”

He nodded, “Alright, so I’m just going to start at the very beginning as though you know nothing about firearms or firearm safety. We’ll start easy with a twenty-two pistol and go from there.” Noticing her anxious expression he said, “It’s alright short stacked. We probably won’t even get to shooting tomorrow. There’s a lot to cover before you even pick up a gun.”

“If you say so.” she began, dubiously.

“I say so.” and he gave her a quick, one armed hug. “See you tomorrow.” and he swanned out of the lab, passing Jane who was returning from a meeting downstairs with Bruce.

“What was Clint doing here?” Jane asked, curiously.

“I got a shovel talk from SHIELD director Fury, which somehow turned into me learning self defense and how to shoot so I’m not a target if someone wants to kidnap me for being Steve’s girlfriend.”

Jane blinked. “Okay what the _fuck_ happened when you went to lunch?”


	2. Steve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _While Steve had never actually punched Hitler, he found himself seriously considering punching Nick Fury._
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Wherein Steve gives Director Fury a piece of his mind for snatching Darcy off the street and scaring her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is totally the fault of [Elliesmeow](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Elliesmeow/pseuds/Elliesmeow) and [margarks](http://archiveofourown.org/users/margarks/pseuds/margarks) who wanted to see Steve calling out Fury for trying to protect him from Darcy. They spoke & the plot bunnies answered.

Darcy was sitting on Steve’s couch, finishing her tale of how she’d told off the director of a government shadow agency. “And then after the brute squad dropped me off at the tower Natasha stopped by to tell me I need to show up at eight tomorrow morning for self defense and _then_ Clint came by to tell me I’m supposed to meet with him at six tomorrow night for firearm safety training. I mean I guess it all makes sense, but the fact that Fury had pictures of us just being us, was super creep-tastic.” 

Steve looked at her, his expression dark. “He had pictures of us?”

“Yeah, total pro job too. Someone with a really good telephoto lens must have been following us around to get ‘em. There was one I wish I’d swiped. It was sweet. We were kissing.” her voice was a little forlorn.

Steve stood up and got his jacket. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that. That was totally unacceptable.”

“Well I’m pretty sure he didn’t think me telling him to fuck off was acceptable, so I guess its fair. Hey, where are you going?” she asked as he grabbed the keys to his motorcycle.

His expression was stony. “I’m going to go give him a piece of my mind. If he had a problem with me being involved with someone he should have come to me. Not grabbed you off the street like a criminal.” He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss across her lips. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. You still owe me that ‘Star Wars’ movie.”

“Steve you really don’t have to do anything.” she said trying to defuse the situation.

“Maybe not, but I’ll feel a hell of a lot better if I do.”

“Fair enough. Kick ass and take names, babe. I’ll just head back down to my place.” and she got up, put her shoes back on, and let herself out.

While Steve had never actually punched Hitler, he found himself seriously considering punching Nick Fury as he rode from the tower to the SHIELD facility.

He strode into the SHIELD building and took the elevator up to the level where he knew Fury’s offices were. Outside the directors office sat his assistant. “I need to speak with Director Fury.”

“I’m sorry Captain Rogers, but the director is very busy this evening. Can you please make an appointment and come back tomorrow?” asked the young man.

Steve turned the full force of his glare on the agent at the desk. “No. I can’t. I need to speak with Director Fury, and by god, I am going to. Do I make myself clear?”

The agent paled, “Abundantly clear sir. I’ll just let him know you’re here. It may be a moment.” The agent stood up and walked to the door and let himself in. A moment later he returned. “The director will see you now.”

Steve brushed past the man without bothering to say thank you and closed the door behind him a bit harder than absolutely necessary.

Fury was standing to greet him, his hand outstretched to shake. “Captain Rogers, what a pleasure to see you.”

“Can it Fury. Did you grab my girlfriend off the street today because you were worried she was trying to _use_ me?” his voice was low and deadly.

“I think there may have been a slight misunderstanding between myself and Miss Lewis.” began Fury.

“Oh really? Because I’m not sure what she misunderstood about being grabbed off the street, frightened, and insulted by you.” snapped Steve.

The director tried to interrupt, “Now listen...”

“No. You listen to me. If you want to know something about what I’m doing you ask me. You don’t grab my girl off the street. What the hell is this world coming to? Have manners and common decency vanished so much in seventy years?” Steve was positively seething. “I want _ALL_ the copies you have printed of those pictures. Now. And I want every electronic copy deleted. Now.”

Fury tried to interrupt again, “Captain I think you’re overreacting.”

“Tell me exactly how I’m overreacting to having my privacy violated? Tell me director, am I or am I not a free man? Have I or have I not served my country to the best of my ability? Do I or do I _not_ have the right to live my life without you _spying_ on me? I continue to put my life on the line every time I put on my uniform. Odds are good I’ll die in a battle I have no hope of winning before I ever have to worry about old age. In the meantime though I sure as _FUCK_ expect a little respect from the agency that’s supposed to support me.” Steve clenched and unclenched his hand unconsciously, suppressing the impulse to cross the room and plant his fist in Fury’s face.

Fury held his hands up in front of him in a conciliatory gesture, his face blank. “I think you have made your point Captain.” He reached for the phone on his desk and rang his assistant, “Jones, bring me the file on Miss Lewis.” He sat down at his desk and waited. A moment later there was a brisk rap on the door and Jones came in with a thin file, dropped it on the desk and scooted back out of the office as quickly as possible.

Steve cocked an eyebrow at the agents antics, “New agent?”

“Unfortunately yes, the first round of recruits since the invasion have just cleared training and now there are baby agents all over the place and personnel keeps insisting I need an assistant to keep my schedule.” Fury said with an eye roll. He picked up the folder and handed it to Steve. “This is all of the intel gathered on one Darcy Joy Lewis.”

Steve took the folder, barely giving the papers within a cursory look before picking up several high quality color photos. Flipping through he found the one Darcy had mentioned. One hand was at her waist, his other gently cupping her face, and she was standing on tiptoe to kiss him. His stomach did a slow flip as he thought _We look so in love_. He tucked the photos inside his jacket and ripped the folder into pieces before dropping them in the trash can beside the desk.

He turned back to Fury his gaze steady. “Now do whatever you have to and erase the electronic copies. I’m not leaving until you do.”

The director nodded and turned his computer. Steve crossed the room to stand behind him, arms crossed. The unspoken threat clear. He watched as Fury navigated through several screens before selecting a folder that was titled ‘Lewis_Rogers_Surveillance’ and deleted it. He looked back over his shoulder to see Steve nod once, apparently satisfied.

Steve crossed back to stand on the other side of the directors desk before speaking again. “Director, I understand that you have been under the impression that I was someone who needed to be protected or mollycoddled for my own good. I hope you are now thoroughly disabused of that notion. I also hope that you believe me when I say if I _ever_ find you spying on me like this again you will NOT like the results.”

“Captain Rogers, are you _threatening_ me?” Fury’s eyebrows were drawn up in astonishment, his tone of voice conveying both disbelief and scorn.

Standing at parade rest, his hands clasped behind him he met the directors gaze dead on, “Yes, sir. I most certainly am.”

“Don’t you think you’re being insubordinate?” Fury’s voice had acquired an edge of venom.

Steve tilted his head to the side slightly, “Whatever gave you the impression I _cared_. Sir. I disobeyed orders to rescue my best friend and his company from enemy territory. Do you honestly think I’m going to curl up and roll over because you think I’m being insubordinate?”

Fury opened and closed his mouth, surprisingly at a loss for words.

“I think we’re done here Director.” and he turned to go.

His hand was on the knob when he heard Fury speak, “You’ve got yourself one stand up girl Rogers. Mouth like a sailor, but she’s got her heart in the right place.”

Steve looked back over his shoulder and smiled slightly, “I know it. Now stay the fuck out of my personal life.” Steve opened and shut the door behind him.

Director Nick Fury closed his eye and sighed. He wasn’t sure how much more he could have screwed the situation up, but he was fairly sure he didn’t want to know. A scraping from the ceiling vent had him opening his eye and looking up as he reached for his sidearm. Peering out from the open vent cover was Agent Barton.

Barton smirked at the director, “He only _looks_ sweet and innocent boss. ‘Tasha or I could have told you that.”

“BARTON!” Fury roared standing up quickly, knocking his chair over.

The vent grating slipped back into place abruptly and he could hear laughter.

He stood in his office staring at the vent before letting his shoulders slump. “Oh _fuck_ me swinging.”

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is it unless another plot bunny from my own head cannon decides to jump up and bite me in the ass.
> 
> Edit: 2/3/13 - I lied, there's more. I thought I was done with this, but I guess it wasn't done with me.


End file.
